My Personal Feminist and Zero Waste Lifestyle

“Please put some makeup on before we go out. I’m really proud of you and I just want to show you off” That is, in fact, an actual quote from my early adulthood. From the moment I became aware of my femininity I was encouraged, and borderline forced, to present myself in a way that hid my true identity.

It started with a bit of makeup and ended with never repeating an outfit.

I was taught that being feminine meant to add layers to my true self to become someone else all together.

I was endlessly searching for happiness in things. First makeup, then clothing, then nails, then hair, then rhinestones for my car, then a matching phone case for each outfit… It was a whirlwind of cheap indulgence.

I’d like to think that I was an outlier of girls my age, but I recently realized that’s not the case at all. Our mainstream society teaches young girls to value these vapid forms of happiness which quickly creates a false sense of happiness. This false sense of gratification can leave them with the urge to chase after that happiness for an infinite amount of time. That was me. I was constantly seeking out the next fast fashion trend to go out and get. I religiously watched makeup tutorials on YouTube that left me feeling empty and as if I was never good enough. There was always a new lip gloss I needed and an army of influencers profiting from my insecurity. Trying to maintain a trendy image was like trying to reach the finish line on a hamster wheel, and I knew I would never be able to “Keep up with the Kardashian’s.”

I was in the vortex of an unstoppable mission until one day I stumbled upon The Story of Stuff.

The Story of Stuff was the first glimmer of light shed onto conscious living for me.

It told the story of our supply chain and briefly made me understand how everything we purchased had lived a life long before it ever reached my hands. The Story of Stuff displayed that not only were our resources abused in the supply chain process, but that my fellow humans were as well.

I sat there in the computer lab with my headphones in my ears. The headphone sat in my ear that barely hid my recycling sign tattoo. I had branded myself to send a message to everyone I met that I cared about the environment. I wanted everyone to know that I cared so badly that I got a recycle sign placed permanently behind my ear. Yet I was clothed in fast fashion from head to toe. I had spent every last penny of my graduation gift money on makeup. I decorated my dorm with cheap plastic ornaments that would make their way to the dumpster as soon as the semester finished. I sat there and felt like a complete fake.

From that moment on everything changed.

I had finally found a true purpose in my life and I was ecstatic about it.

I could no longer look at the pointless actions I had engaged in before as necessary or even fun. I no longer found pleasure in browsing the mall or keeping up with the latest makeup trends.

I could see the resources needed to produce each and every product I went to buy and it stopped me every time.

It was easy at first. I was on my own in college, and because I am a reclusive introvert, I didn’t have to worry about judgment from my peers. It wasn’t until I returned home that I realized how difficult this lifestyle change would be. Walmart, Target, and Kohl’s are my mom’s favorite pastimes. Shopping wasn’t something we did out of necessity, or even for fun, it was more of a ritual. Sunday morning we would wake up and go shopping. That’s just how it was. First Walmart, then Target, and usually we had some Kohl’s cash that we “had to spend.”

One weekend back at home with my parents and I couldn’t take it. I had to tell everyone what I had learned about overconsumption and the impact it was having on our natural resources. So I tried. I tried to explain the impact it was having on our water resources. I tried to explain how much petroleum it took to produce and ship cheap clothing. I explained how people were exploited during the process. I explained it all, but it didn’t matter.

I had become conscious of the world around me, but that wasn’t what I was expected to do.

My newfound passion threw off my family and what they had known about me my entire life. I was no longer playing the role they were accustomed to. My role in society was to look a certain way, act a certain way, and care about certain things. It didn’t make sense that I refused to wear makeup because I was supposed to care about my appearance. I wasn’t supposed to be up in arms about the harmful effects of the talc mining industry.

I couldn’t help but notice how many times my mother scoffed at my newfound purpose. Caring about the planet seemed trivial to her in opposition to society's view of me. She was more concerned with me changing my shoes than changing the world.

“Please put some makeup on before we go out. I’m really proud of you and I just want to show you off,” my Mom used to say.

Although women have come immensely far in our modern society, my story reminds me that we still have a gap to bridge. Somehow I obtained the courage to overcome the unimaginative future my mother had planned for me, but many women are not as lucky. Our societal norms teach women to be hyper-consumers in order to fulfill a role in society that no longer serves a meaningful purpose. Being stuck in this mindset holds women back from realizing their full potential to impact others, the planet, and their own happiness. 

At a time when our oceans are overflowing with plastic and our clean water resources are becoming more and more scarce by the day, we need women to be at the forefront of the solutions as opposed to being the leading contributors to the problems. I ask each and every woman reading this to stop and consider what is truly important in life. What brings you joy and fulfillment? What fuels your ambition? What impact do you want to leave on this earth?

Don’t get caught up in society’s expectations before you have a chance to find answers to those questions for yourselves.